My story

I don't want to skirt around it. I have attempted suicide.

It was the first time I was hit with these feelings, I didn't know how else to deal with them and I didn't see any other way out. I was 20 and, thanks to a bad day a couple of days before, I planned my way out. I was living in Torquay at the time and exhausted from work. I was isolated from my family and normal friends and was slowly coming to the realisation that the career path that I had planned for myself growing up disintegrated with every minute that passed.

The day itself was one of the most serene I've ever had. Acceptance. I spent what I thought was going to be my last few hours on the phone to a friend (I still don't know if she knew what was going on from my end) and was hoping that I simply wouldn't wake up. After this I spent nearly two weeks in hospital and, despite me being very honest with all doctors and nurses, I was allowed to leave with very little understanding or treatment of what had caused the problem.

Depression isn't something that just goes away. You have good days and bad days. Good months and bad months. You mostly feel like a normal person and want to be treated as such but people that haven't had experience of it don't understand.

I don't want to bore people and go on about myself (although I will happily answer any questions) but once these feelings started they never went away. It is just one day at a time. The more that I do, though, the easier it becomes :)